First time, desire, love, porn… how can you talk to your teenager about sexuality without taboos? For the well-being of his offspring, no subject should be taboo, especially in matters of sexuality.
In adolescence, young people ask themselves a thousand and one questions about sexuality. For the well-being of his offspring, no subject should be taboo, especially in this area. The first rule to follow as a parent? Remind your teenager that you are ready to listen to him / her, to answer him / her, to seek answers to his / her questions with him / her …
Also remind him that internet forums are never a substitute for “real” discussion and that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Ellen Weigand, sexperte and creator of the site www.masexualite.ch, gives us 5 key topics to discuss immediately with your teenager.
Do you know how your body works?
The functioning of sexuality, the genitals, the human body are basic subjects that must be tackled as a priority with teenagers. Today there are several serious sites that parents can recommend to their children. Some ideas :
As a parent, you are free to offer to make an appointment to allow him to address other essential points such as the prevention of STIs (sexually transmitted infections), unwanted pregnancies, contraception and the pill. the next day, etc.
Sexotuto, a new series explains sex to teens
Lumni, France Télévisions’ educational platform for young people, has launched a new program: Sexotuto. On the program of this news sex education web series, all the answers to questions that adolescents and pre-adolescents may ask themselves about sexuality and romantic relationships.
In thirty-eight five-minute episodes, this series promises to address a large number of themes ranging from rules to the pornographic films going through puberty, sexual violence or even the first love feelings. “What is consent? What is incest? What can’t I do when I have my period? Sex is porn? Can I be in love with someone? “one that I met on the internet? Are boys more addicted to pleasure than girls? When will I get breasts? All these questions are answered in this web series. Also in the respect for oneself and others “, promises Sexotuto, a program produced and created by Maïtena Biraben.
In each episode, viewers find two young actors, Ambre and Eddy, two friends who answer questions found on different forums. The two youngsters also sometimes use of completely naked characters to help them in various explanations. A choice completely assumed: “Naked bodies not retouched, we hardly see them today. show that bodies are diverse. So in the series you see different bodies, black, white, Asian, with shapes, big, small, asymmetrical breasts… We go so far as to show what we call nicely the genitals, that is to say. say that we show male and female sexes. For the female sexes, this is a first “, underlined Maïtena Biraben at the microphone ofEurope 1.
Don’t focus on the “first time”
What preoccupies teens a lot and which we must obviously talk about is the famous “first time” that we dream of paradise, that we dread (for fear of not being up to it), that we feel obligated to do (because the girlfriends / boyfriends have already done it) or for fear of losing the love of his / her partner. As the family planning site explains well: “The first time is often the first time! »Girl or boy, it is important that everyone discovers the pleasures of sexuality at their own pace, in their own way and feel free to suggest, accept or refuse certain practices. Tell them the first time doesn’t have to be a great time, and that’s okay! Making love can be learned and takes time.
Porn is often “for fake”
It is also essential to explain to teens that sexuality is not porn! Far from there. Even though it has become accessible to everyone (just a click away) and has created new “standards” of practice, pornography is not a standard. This notion of performance conveyed in some porn films spoils many first times, and those after … Warn them.
You have the right not to want
The other crucial question to be addressed: that of mutual consent. It is essential to remind adolescents that it is important to respect yourself, to respect your desire or non-desire for the other, your rhythm, but also to respect the desires of the other. Remind them that we have the right to say no, and that “no “really means” no “ that no relationship should be constrained!
Desire or love, you will know one day …
Finally, there is of course the question of love because the first emotions raise many anxieties and questions that parents should be ready to answer. Remember that you are their best guide, your life experience could be of use to them. Without language of wood!