Male orgasm is more complex than you might think. To better understand the male sexual pleasure, I listened to and noted the responses of men and experts, sexologists and doctors.
Differentiate between ejaculation, orgasm, and enjoyment
According to Samuel Salama, gynecologist and sexologist, we must distinguish between mechanical aspects of human enjoyment and orgasm, which is related to feelings and to sensations. Here are his explanations:
- ejaculation, it is the emission of semen thanks to the testes to the gall bladder to the prostate;
- orgasm, it is the contraction of the muscles of the pelvic floor (as in women) which will play a role in ejaculation, but also cause a feeling of pleasure;
- enjoyment, it is the perception of this more or less intense pleasure according to the excitement and the context.
Many men dissociate orgasm and ejaculation: during a program called “The French in bed”, men were questioned about their relationship to pleasure and sex. Faced with proposed affirmations, they had to press a green or red buzzer depending on whether they found the proposed affirmation correct or not. When seeing the following sentence: “Ejaculation = Orgasm”, the majority of participants pressed the red buzzer.
“It’s a mistake to associate ejaculation with orgasm,” says one of them. I have known moments of fatigue where I had an ejaculation, but hardly any pleasure ”; “Ejaculation is very mechanical,” continues another. It is never an unpleasant feeling to ejaculate, but it is not an orgasm ”; “Orgasm is right before ejaculation so if I could stay ‘before’ that would be perfect. ”
And if some men don’t tell the difference, they still identify different phases of their enjoyment, like Manuel, 33 years old: “Personally, I have never ejaculated without coming or vice versa. What matters are all the movements of pleasure during love. Enjoyment is the ultimate peak, but during the act it’s like a roller coaster : we go up and down several times in a row, more or less high, more or less quickly, and each of these pleasures is enjoyable differently … When we reach the peak of the excitement, then we are in ecstasy, we ejaculate and we come down for good. ”
3 things we often ignore about male pleasure
Pleasure by proxy
More and more men say they are interested in pleasure of their partner as well as their enjoyment. For some it is even at the origin of theirs: “When there is an exchange with his partner and that one gives him pleasure, the orgasm does not need to be called, it happens”, affirms a man questioned.
And so much the better! Because it is obviously in this sense that it works, as Samuel Salama, sexologist explains: “Since there is a refractory period after the man has ejaculated, one of the important advice is: sir, take care of Madam’s pleasure first, she is able to return it afterwards, and she will be able to return it to you widely afterwards (note: Yes! Thank you!) ”.
Taboo prostate orgasm
As for the prostate orgasm (yes, the one reached by the buttocks), it is certain that it has an effect since men refer to it in these terms: “oceanic orgasm”; “Abyssal”; “Crazy sensations”. However, many are still very cautious on the question, at least at the beginning, as kindly laughs Blanche Gardin in her sketch (from the tenth minute).
Men also simulate pleasure
Women would not be the only ones to fake it. During the program cited above, the following sentence was proposed: “Men never fake.” »Most of those questioned once again pressed the red buzzer: false.
“An ejaculation cannot be simulated,” explains a man questioned, “but my bodily expression, that is to say breathing harder, making sounds, I could have exaggerated it. ”
In any case, many say they did it when they weren’t in it for some reason.
What does the male orgasm look like?
When they have to describe orgasm, men talk about electricity, bombs and muscles.
“You have the impression that your penis becomes very very sensitive and the slightest back and forth makes you chills all over the body, continues a young man.
” This is a time bomb, it will come from all sides. I can feel my venous system swelling and my muscles tightening. ”
“It’s as if you put your finger in a 120-volt outlet,” explains 73-year-old Michel.
“It’s nirvana. We tremble from head to toe, we have heartbeats, like tetany which occurs in the muscles. ”
Finally, some men have the impression of not having lived it. They feel the pleasure of ejaculation, but not something transcendent. A bit like women who have not had an orgasm or do not know it (except that they are more numerous).
The little post-orgasm depression (the little death)
After enjoyment, many men describe a feeling of sadness, emptiness, flatness. Others love the moment after love, a kind of warrior’s rest. “I feel like I’m drugged and emptied”; “I like the post-orgasm, it’s the calm after the storm. ”
Transcend orgasm with stop & go or tantric sex
To prevent this phenomenon of descent, the stop & go method or train at tantric sex (read the paragraph “Resist the call to orgasm”). It seems to be doing wonders!
“In my current sexuality ejaculatory orgasm is no longer the goal. When I was 20 I could start over right away but now I’m 55 (…), I want it to last a long time and for that, I must not ejaculate, or just at the end . ”
“Me, I have an insatisfaction with ejaculation which is terrible and I take a lot more pleasure in delaying this moment, so that I no longer focus my pleasure only in sex but in my whole body, and… it’s huge. ”
“It’s an art to know how to ride but not to the breaking point where I’m going to ejaculate; there is much less the effect of small depression, explains another man of about 70 years.
In summary, men and women seem very close to orgasm, except that ejaculation signals the end of sexual intercourse for men, which is not the case for women. So, unless they have mastered the art of non-rupture, men have every interest in favoring the pleasure of their partner, both to satisfy it, but also to give their orgasm time to rise and gain in. power.