A survey, carried out by the Elabe Institute for WeMoms on more than 500 mothers, shows that two in three experience a baby clash.
The baby clash, what is it?
It is about tensions, conflicts in the couple that are explained by the change of life, fatigue, the new responsibilities to be taken on which can be distressing for the mother as for the father.
This happy event can bring about many things. Aude Lafont, psychopractor, lists which:
- unresolved childhood injuries;
- a mother who feels misunderstood;
- a father who feels abandoned, excluded from the fusional mother-child relationship.
Anticipate the baby’s arrival
For Aude Lafont, “it is important for the couple to be supported upstream, in order to anticipate problems, and to prepare for this change. ”
The visit of the fourth month, in addition to the medical examination, should normally make it possible to expose the difficulties which one meets or that one fears to meet. But this interview is not compulsory.
So, to limit the risks of baby clash, you have to think, as a couple, of build a life plan with baby and think about some things:
- Review the organization and sharing of the different tasks in the house (shopping, cleaning, nighttime bottles if the mother is not breastfeeding, etc.).
- Prioritize priorities: the days are only 24 hours and, the first months, the infant occupies a good part of it! It will therefore be difficult, on weekends, to schedule a daily nap, shopping, an appointment with the hairdresser and an evening with friends. You have to make choices and alternate according to everyone’s wishes.
- A baby is overwhelming. It is important for the couple to keep their own territory free from bottles, toys, diapers, etc.
- Asking for help: Grandparents, siblings can help out in order to offer a freedom valve every now and then, even for just a few hours, it does a lot of good.
Communicating with your partner is essential because 20% of mothers admit to having feared that their couple will not survive the baby’s arrival.
Read also : Preserving your marriage after the birth of a baby