Most couples who experience infertility feel unfair. Not being able to give a child to another generates guilt, which must be defused within the couple.
Knowing how to communicate with others
To reintegrate the word and the complicity, to work on the esteem of oneself and of the other in spite of the test, an approach which is essential. “It’s in your head, you think about it too much …” These thoughts reinforce the doubts: “If I don’t succeed, then it’s my fault!” Decomplex yourself. Even if some infertility can result from psychological blockages, these cases mainly concern heavy stories.
Resolve resentment and resentment
In addition to the rejection of the one who is infertile and the fantasies associated with it, “if I had stayed with my ex, I would already have children”, it is necessary to overcome the feeling of discomfort towards the family, friends or colleagues. Knowing that a natural function in others is complex for you causes jealousy. This is even more obvious in a sibling where it awakens old emotional competitions.
A feeling of being out of step
This feeling, which is difficult to express, is then transferred to strangers: “I can’t stand seeing children in the street anymore”, “the headlines with the pregnant stars annoys me …” These couples feel out of step with it. , the risk of gradually isolating themselves.
Infertility: breaking the silence
Although the cause of infertility is female in only 60% of cases, it is often the woman who takes responsibility for infertility in front of others and the family. A lie by omission, because it is difficult to question the manhood of the spouse. But with whom to confide this heavy secret of infertility? Breaking the silence and sharing the sadness are important steps. “It is not painful to speak; what hurts is to experience failure ”assures Léa Karpel, a clinical psychologist at Antoine-Béclère hospital in Clamart.
If one of the partners has expressly requested silence from the other, then a conflict of loyalty engages: betraying the promise made to the spouse or lying to his family. In pairs or with the help of a psychologist, the couple must learn to free their words.
A long journey
“Infertility transforms the desire for a child into suffering and suffering must be made a new desire in order to engage in medical aid for procreation, or even adoption,” explains Léa Karpel. When one enters the process of treating infertility, the very idea of failure is for some hardly compatible with the hope of the child. Unfortunately, not everything is medically possible. The couple must also apprehend this painful possibility …