The naughty sms replaced the love letter or the erotic letter that lovers exchanged until the 20th century.
Definition of sext and legal clarification
It is easy to understand, the sext is a neologism born from theassociation of the words texting and sex. It is therefore a message with sexual or erotic content sent via a mobile phone. He may or may not be accompanied by photos.
Illegal sexting: what does the law say?
If the fact ofexchange intimate messages and photosbetween consenting adults is not punishable by law, the secondary sexting (the unauthorized distribution) is a serious problem and can be considered sexual harassment. Especially if the message is sent with a photo (dick pic), because the sexual exhibition offense is punishable by one year’s imprisonment and a fine of € 15,000.
The condition for sending a sext is therefore always to have the consent of the recipient. Except that in real life, we rarely officially consent to receive a sext: it is often a tacit agreement between the two parties. Anyway … It’s not easy.
Preamble to good practices
Thepartner’s agreement to receive a sext Does it really protect us from all danger? In spite of everything, can’t the recipient turn against us? Who will be able to prove that there has been validation if it was oral? And even if the recipient is legitimate, can’t the leak come from elsewhere (beyond recent affairs, do we remember the conversations between Charles and Camilla)? We don’t get out of it anymore.
The truth, my dear friends, is that in life we are unfortunately never completely immune. Hence the importance of good be careful not to expose yourself too much, not to give your number to just anyone, tobe really confident with the other before having these intimate exchanges, not to multiply the potential sources of problems (so we don’t sextot with all our insta contacts, ok?).
We must not go into psychosis either. Not everyone is malicious. It must be assumed that if the recipient does not like sexting, they will tell the sender and the sender will respect their wish and refrain from resending messages. If this is not the case, it goes without saying thatsexting someone who has made it clear they don’t want it is a form of bullying. But I’m sure you will be able to assess whether she or he is in a favorable position to receive your text.
Finally, if it turns out that we made a mistake on someone’s account or that this person becomes insistent or inappropriate, there is always a way to block / report them.
If your partner is comfortable with sending sext, it may also be useful to establish some rules:
– do we delete the messages regularly in case the laptop falls into the hands of another person?
– do we limit ourselves to naughty messages or also photos and / or videos?
It’s up to you to judge what pleases you the most. And if, during your sexting exchanges, you realize that you or your partner are not comfortable with this practice, there is nothing stopping you from stopping and erasing everything.
Naughty SMS: 6 good reasons to get started
- For create bond and seduction : the desire sometimes arises with a text message. For Arnaud, for example, the sexual tension started with the sending of the first messages: “I established a friendly relationship with a girl I met during a seminar. It was when we started texting each other that it changed. “
- To maintain a hot climate with someone: the sext allows you to maintain an erotic bond despite the distance. Receiving sweet and sensual words, reminds the presence of the other and warms hearts as well as bodies. We also avoid falling into or remaining in banalities, we transcend the everyday a little.
- For act as foreplay : for Brice, sexting is used to increase desire: “It’s a real pleasure, I would even say it’s a kind of foreplay. A sweet introduction… ”smiles this fulfilled bachelor.
- To receive and offer small discharges in dopamine : the little hearts on Instagram and the likes on Facebook make the brain secrete the hormones responsible for pleasure and addiction, as Arte recalls in his mini series Dopamine. And the same goes for sexting. Yes, because sending and receiving texts is nothing more than an ego booster. These are words that work.
- Because words like pictures have an effect : “The words fly away, the writings remain”, and the shock of the words is strong. We are animals gifted with language and writing, we must take advantage of it!
- Because it protects and it frees: texting allows contact without presence. “No need to be well dressed, to have good breath, to be in a good mood … You just have to send messages that make you and your partner happy”, explains Damien, a fan of sexting.
Our advice: start small, sending a few compliments to your partner, for example. Depending on the response, you may be able to increase sexual tension and further eroticize your messages.
Writing an intimate message: five tips to do
- Dare to be a rider. The first rule of sexting is: don’t be afraid to be a little ole-ole and to use crude words, all the fun is there! Don’t be ultra-vulgar either, it’s not about stealing the line from porn actors, just being frank enough so that the message is colorful and impactful. And don’t assume the other’s reactions. This is the case of Delphine who was a little shocked when she received a very explicit photo of the sex of her lover in the photo. But, after a few minutes to tame the image, she feasted: “A lover once sent me his erect penis without warning. At the time, I didn’t really know how to take it… And then once I got over this little shock, I found myself returning to see the photo, again and again. “
- Pay attention to the selected contact. Who hasn’t mistakenly sent a text message to THE person you should avoid? Boss, professional contacts, family, etc. So be sure to check your recipient.
- To reply quickly. Responding hours later is killer! So it’s now or never.
- Confronting reality quickly enough. The sext, that’s two seconds. We must not forget that saying and doing are two very different things. It is therefore necessary to see if virtual alchemy also exists in real life. As Margot explains, we can be disappointed: “At the moment, it’s cool. But basically what we all expect is to feel the real! And sometimes, you get disillusioned … Good sexting is not necessarily sent by gods of the stake … “
- Be careful. Like Aurore, pay attention to do not expose your face : “I make sure I never leave my head on the photos I send, just in case…”. Do not use your email address or your business phone either.
Smileys, emojis and other small digital designs can be welcome in sexting. But then which ones and to say what?
- For evoke the sexes, we do without much surprise in the food : eggplant, banana and carrot for the penises; in apricot or donut for the vulva and vagina. For the buttocks: keep fishing.
- The fact of associating a mouth or a tongue with the aforementioned fruits but also with an ice cream, a lollipop, a jar of honey or an oyster, will recall without problem oral sex (fellatio, cunnilingus).
- For evoke sexual intercourse, we can use two hand emojis : one with a finger indicating, and the other with the fingers in circles. It mimics penetration, as young people do with their hands in action in the playgrounds.
- For desire and enjoymente we can use tred hermometer, of fire, drops in splash, as well as all signs of explosion / eruption : dynamite, fireworks, volcano …
- Of course, a banned at least 18 years old speaks for itself.
But, basically, everything is sexualizable … Why not a train and a fountain, naughty rabbits or cutlery set up style at table ? There is no limit to sexy emoji diversion if not that of your imagination. Note, however, that a little word will always be appreciated! For example: “Loved this night”, with a splash emoji and an apricot. You have it ?
Instagram books, podcats … Where to find sexting ideas
Find all the posts instagram of Lonely Loves, which lists thousands of lovers texting and that we told you about there, with our selection of the hottest intimate messages. Or the Instagram of Talkative Bodies, sometimes a little too much, but with a good dose of humor.
Of course, you can of course take inspiration from the erotic literature and there, you will have the choice: letters from Guillaume Apollinaire and his mistress Lou, or Alfred Musset and Georges Sand, but also certain writings by Boris Vian, Colette, or more contemporary authors such as Octavie Delvaux and Anne Vassivière … The podcats CtrlX or the Lock, take the hottest excerpts from these texts.
Finally, for colorful inspirations, find our selection of Insta hot accounts.