After such an event that childbirth represents, it takes some time to regain your intimate life as a couple. If there are no recommendations per se, the mode of delivery must be taken into account:
- vaginally with or without forceps;
- vaginally with or without episiotomy;
- by cesarean section.
For some women, the perineum remains painful for a long time.
Why don’t you want to?
After the birth of a baby, the libido is low, this is normal. There are several reasons for this:
- fatigue from childbirth;
- falling hormones;
- the symbiosis that the mother lives with her child;
- in the case of breastfeeding, there are the bodily sensations of the baby at the breast that somewhat perpetuate those of the pregnancy.
On the dad’s side, libido may also be declining, because he is entirely turned towards his child. In fact, the baby fills the whole psychic space of the parental couple. Therefore, couples generally resume sexual activity between one and two months after childbirth. At this time, the mother also made her post-natal visit and feels reassured that all is well.
But it can also be earlier, the important thing being that intercourse is consented to and not forced, or it can also be later. Because in some women the libido does not go up. This can be linked to a real post-partum depression which must then be treated immediately, or quite simply because they are very invested in their role of mother, especially after the first child.
If the lack of desire to have sex continues beyond three months after childbirth, It is important to talk about it with your spouse and the midwife because this situation should not be allowed to set in for too long. Consulting a therapist may be necessary.
Think about hugs
After childbirth, sex can also take other forms than penetration. They can, for a time, be more based on caresses, massages, tenderness, time for the woman to find herself at ease in her body. The important thing is to communicate and share with the father of his child.
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