Our culture has never been so tolerant of sex in all its forms. Indeed, with a few exceptions (incest, bestiality, unwanted relationships), we accept almost everything: polyamory, apps for casual sex, bdsm, etc. In addition, access to contraception has been greatly simplified and democratized, while a set of scientific advances facilitates our potential meetings. We should therefore be living one of the most prosperous sexual periods in history… And yet, the figures are there: we make less love. So why this phenomenon that the magazine The Atlantic name ” sexual recession “(Source 1)? This is what we have sought to understand.
A new phenomenon, different from asexuality
We know and we understand quite well that desire not in couples together for decades. This is why we will not talk about this here. No more than asexual who say for the most part not to feel sexual urge or sexual urge. We are interested here in the new generations of abstainers, not really voluntary, who flourish in the four corners of the world and whose age calls out. Eh yes ! In a generation, the percentage of teenagers aged 14 to 18 making love has become a minority, whereas it was the majority until now … So, young people, not that liberated?
A predominantly single population in many countries
All countries that observe the sex life de their fellow citizens (the rich) “report their own sexual delays and decline”, notes The Atlantic. The British reported five times less sex in 2012 than in 2001. Australians in couples noted a decline in sex. To the Netherlands, the median age for the first time increased by more than a year (from 17.1 in 2012 to 18.6 in 2017). As to Japan, let’s not talk about it ! The sekkusu shinai shokogun (celibacy syndrome) has a name and is a real scourge: according to the Japanese National Institute of Population and Social Security (source 2), more than 40% of Japanese singles aged 18 to 34 are virgins. And couples don’t seem to be overly focused on the issue either, as 47% of married people say they haven’t had sex in the past month.
In short, all of these would like to make love, they have desire, a libido and a thousand possibilities, but they don’t. Do they understand the real and the real carnal relationship? Are they satisfied by the web or on the contrary totally disillusioned? A bit of all that, obviously.
Different possible explanations
- Fewer couples and late marriages: involved in this sexual recession: the single life. “60% of young adults under 35 currently live without partner or spouse. And one in three adults in this age group lives with their parents, says the magazine’s study The Atlantic “.
- Internet and porn culture = solo sex : streaming, virtual reality, easy access to porn… This omnipresence of screens contributes to what some people call virtual libido. And today, the latter rivals real sex life. In a hyperproductive society where every minute is counted and where stress reigns supreme, sex is also a waste of time, a loss of earnings. Why would we go out since everything can be done at home and all alone? The web makes it possible to meet our basic social and sexual needs. There is therefore no reason to go elsewhere to see if someone is there. The snake then bites its tail:
“We connect because we have no social skills. We have no social skills because we connect ”, testifies a young person.
- Too much choice kills choice, or the mirage of dating apps and social networks : we were fooled by Tinder and its competitors. What was supposed to multiply our possibilities and serve us sex on a set actually gives us millions of one night stands and potential romantic disappointments. These heaps of first-last dates distance us from the real physical encounter. These apps and dating networks end up inducing in us a fear of the real encounter and its potential pitfalls (rejection, trial for sexual harassment, etc.). Online creates inhibitions, both mental and physical, and locks us into it.
- Decreased self-esteem and depressed go hand in hand with overconsumption of social media, anxiety, a feeling of sadness… And all of this, we know, is not good for Lady Libido. Like taking drugs that potentially lead to low morale.
Thepersonal financial insecurity, the fears about the future (certainly themselves due to economic pressure), standardized recourse to antidepressants, lack of sleep, careerism or even obesity are also mentioned to explain the decline in sex observed in the world.
Other more sympathetic reasons can also justify the sex drop, such as the power to say no (which until then had not been held by many women, in particular because rape within the couple was not recognized), the evolution of the relationship between men and women, the priority that the ‘we can grant to studies or work.
Sacred yesterday, delivered-liberated and overexposed today, the demai sexualityn could, it seems, go back: healthy sex life is linked to a happy life and having a partner is a strong predictor of happiness, but in this modern age, sex seems more charged and intimacy elusive. Maybe we’ll get something out of it soon, like the abysmal state of sex education or the problematic relationship many of us have with our smartphones, but for now it seems more likely than the sexual recession. continues that it does not decrease, ”concludes The Atlantis.
(1) “Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex?”, The Atlantic, December 2018.
(2) Japanese National Institute of Population and Social Security.