Sometimes, the other annoys us, we want him less, and we question his relationship. Before considering a breakup, it’s good to remember the many benefits of a relationship.
Preamble: these tips are only valid in the context of balanced and respectful relationships. Moreover, it can serve as a test: if you do not find yourself in any of these statements, you should perhaps wonder about the merits of your relationship.
Good reasons for my health
You have a better lifestyle
Admit, you too, when you are alone, you tend to leave your socks and coffee cups lying around a bit, not motivating yourself to cook yourself (fearing that you will end up with beef bourguignon on your arms for two weeks), etc. In short, your pace of life is fluctuating and random. Whereas with your.your lover, you eat better, you do housework more often, you brush your teeth more, you go to bed earlier… don’t you? Generally, the couple should lead you to have a healthier lifestyle, otherwise it is you who risks making you quit: according to a survey conducted in 2017 by the SCA group (Demak’Up, Lotus, etc.), questionable hygiene is a reason for separation for 25% of women.
You have someone to hug
Affection is vital! “Should we remember the innumerable observations made in this direction, starting with those of Dr. Spitz establishing that the health of infants deprived of stimulation, especially emotional, is in serious danger? », Asks a psychotherapist (source1). Not to mention that if you push the hugs further, you also benefit from health benefits of sex.
Good reasons for my morale
- You don’t get bored and don’t feel lonely : Of course, it is sometimes exasperating to have your spouse in the hands 24 hours a day (especially during a period of confinement), but at least you don’t bother. The couple occupies a lot, both physically and mentally! She.he is always there (or almost) to touch you, talk to you or simply to live by your side and keep you company. So you don’t feel the heavy weight of the solitude which is also H24 in the paws of singles.
- You are dissatisfied : the Other does not completely meet your expectations and obviously it is so much the better, because according to the great philosophers, love would come precisely from there: in Feast, Plato makes his master speak and he says that love-eros would not be the symbiosis, but precisely the incompleteness. Not the merger, but the quest for this merger. (Source 1)
- You can raise your voice a little without ruining the relationship: aharguments… Sometimes it feels good to express yourself! In addition it can turn out to be very positive if it is treated with maturity. But beware: only a few conflicts are healthy, strong anger is always to be avoided because it leads nowhere and sometimes leaves indelible traces.
- You have less pain : because you can share your deep emotions, your pains, etc. If you spend an evening with family or friends and some things make you sad, you share your feelings with the one or the one who shares your life, and then it weighs you less. Even if you are grieving, you know deep down that you have someone who loves you and who is there.
- You feel stronger : we know, unity is strength. So much so that to survive certain plants never live alone! Be careful not to turn yourself into a vegetable.
- You are happier : “Stack and Eshleman (1998) analyzed the self-reported happiness of 18,000 adults (single, married, cohabiting, etc.) in 17 different countries (including France, Belgium, Switzerland and Canada). With the exception of Ireland, married people say they are on average happier than single people in 16 of the 17 countries, ”explains an article. Futura Science.
The right reasons for my personal development
- You save time and energy: your relationship already has the merit of existing. Thus, you save a lot of time on the time you would probably spend if not switching to apps to find love. Together, you avoid all the often sterile questions posed by meetings: how I’m going to dress, how she will find me, etc. ? You don’t have these problems: you know what to wear to please him (or displease him for that matter).
- You are discreetly challenged : in a relationship, it’s not like in professional life: we are not going to clearly state the objectives and ask for reports from N + 1. But yet they exist! A partner commits every day to stand, to get up, to offer him something good of himself.
- You get better : ” What is love? The need to get out of oneself. ” Charles Baudelaire, My heart laid bare, 1867, p. 655. The Other takes you elsewhere. The romantic relationship allows you to glimpse life through the eyes of another with different perspectives and prism. Thus, the field of vision expands and the mind expands. Love makes it possible to grow, it obliges us to question beneficial and to give of oneself.
Other good reasons
- You’re making savings : yes, it’s simple, all your costs are halved. One can imagine the advantage of the herd (three-way couple relationship), in this difficult context.
- You had a one in thousands chance that it would work: it is rare to find a soul mate! In any case, this is the result of the test by economics researcher Peter Backus, who used a famous mathematical equation (Drake’s equation), to determine his chances of finding a girlfriend to his liking and available. His odds were thus visibly reduced to 1 in 285,000. So, unless you want to play your couple in the lottery, rather appreciate the magic of the thousands of little happy coincidences which brought you two to meet … (source 2)
- You are not sure to find better elsewhere : there is a reason to be made: everyone has their faults and their qualities. If contraption is sexier than thing, it is undoubtedly also more demanding or seductive. Remember what you have been able to create and grow. Remember all the good times you spent together and feed on them to feed many more.
In short, without going so far as to do in mathematical love: “The worries I subtract, the money I multiply”, as M sings, it must be recognized that the couple has some benefits. No doubt they are supposed to compensate for the large part of the investment that the maintenance of a romantic relationship represents.